Hello fellow citizens and mutants,
I have been posting my thoughts on line for few years now. Some of you remember my on line ranting from “Rasputin’s Ramblings.” It will be similar to that publication, only this will be a blog. A blog with letters that I have written to corporations and politicians. I hope you will enjoy it.

Last night a friend of mine picked my up for a night of multiple pints and debauchery. By chance we drove by the location of Cosi, a restaurant in town. The place was gutted and empty. I didn’t realize that this greasy spoon failed. My heart jumped for joy. The letter attached to this preamble will explain why.

The letter is from 2007. Besides e-mailing it to the corporate office I posted it on Cranford Talk. I am sure my letter warning the public aided in the destruction of Cosi.
————————————————————————————
September 4, 2007

My wife and I spent an enjoyable Labor Day together with the exception of one glitch. This glitch was visiting COSI, the chain restaurant. After riding our bikes into the center of town, we stopped into your restaurant for a salad.

I never ate in a Cosi before. When we walked in we didn’t know whether to sit ourselves or wait for an employee. Not a big deal, an adolescent employee I flagged down told me to make my order at the counter. He provided us with a paper menu. A nice kid, but he needs a ham sandwich and to start hitting the weights.

So we sauntered to the counter to make our order. At the counter I encountered a middle-aged man. This proud Cosi employee, with the girth of Santa and a wrinkled multi-colored tie, took our order. Now I have a beer belly as well. But he needs to quit eating ham sandwiches and have some salads.

The manager then hands me a frayed piece of paper with a number on it. The paper felt slimy, and my imagination wandered for a moment. I wondered where this sticky piece of paper was? Did it fall onto the floor, picking up COSI microbes? Maybe the COSI microbes combined with the Cranfordian, creating a super “COSIFORDIAN” virus. And why was it frayed? At the time I believed that the COSI Corporation had the capital to invest in new laminated paper. Looking a your stock price (4.01 on NASDAQ) maybe I was wrong.

But now the culinary ordeal begins. After eating for about a minute, my wife pulls out a stick from her mouth. Now I know this is not a stick she brought with her to chew on. I was the one with the stick-chewing problem, and twelve-step program cured me of it. She told me that this piece of lumber was in her salad. So she brought the salad and the stick back to the counter.

It is unknown to me what slack jawed employee she spoke with. When she displayed the stick to the person, he proclaimed, “That’s not suppose to be in there.” I am glad that he is familiar with the ingredients of COSI’s culinary delights. He inquired if he wanted another salad. She lost her appetite and responded no. We soon pedaled home, vowing to go to Rockin’ Joe from now on for lunch. I remarked to my wife that the Cranford Family Restaurant has great salads.

I wrote this letter for a few reasons. Now I do not expect a free lunch, but I would of liked to have observed more interest from your restaurant when she located a stick in her salad. I know what you are thinking; technically salad and sticks are both derived from the flora of this planet. And perhaps branches from oak trees are nutritious part of a person’s lunch. But no one seemed to care.

The other reason is this. I have been resident of Cranford for my entire life. I want the Cranford Crossing project to be a success. Serving California Redwoods in salads is not a step in this direction. If Cosi plans to stay (and with a stock price of approximately four dollars it is doubtful) please get it together. Your success is intertwined with Cranford Crossing’s success. And can you please provide a corporate address that people can write to. I know of the powers of the internet, but some people still like to send letters via snail mail on their favorite stationary.

Respectfully,

Brian Lopez