Obama… Our First Muslim President?

Obama… Our First Muslim President?

When he first took the Oval Office, I didn’t believe it. Just look at the guy. He was a community organizer in Chicago who also taught in law school. His wife, a law school graduate, whose resume included Vice President for Community and External Affairs at the University of Chicago Medical Center. She made a whopping $316,962 for God’s know what. What does a Vice President for Community and External Affairs do anyway? Does it help find a cure for cancer?

Anyhow, there was no burkas or hajibs to be seen. No imams heaping praises upon Barry when he was running for President. I mean after all, the former Senator was going to lower the sea levels. I don’t think Allah would be happy with this kind of talk. Raising and lower sea levels is a God’s territory, not someone who chilled with the “Choom Gang”.  To me, he appeared to be your run of the mill socialist. I must add a dangerous one, considering he was elected President.
Let me translate: “Dear Islam, I know that some of you have been at war with the West, Judaism, and Christianity for centuries. However, there was no excuse for America getting in a tizzy over 9-11. Sorry.” 
I was a little angry over this. Like his recent apology over Hiroshima. But Obama being Islamic??!! No way. Barry had a beer with the Cambridge cop and that nutty professor. In Yemen, I believe you get your tongue removed for imbibing. 
How about this recent blunder. Some call it The Arab Spring. Spring? I believe Jon Snow would say winter is upon us. Here are two blunders. Remember Libya? I believe crazy Uncle Gaddafi soiled himself when he watched us dismantle Iraq. This isn’t just my opinion, here is a former adviser of Bubba himself: Ashton B. Carter, an assistant secretary of defense under President Clinton who is now co-director of the Harvard-Stanford Preventive Defense Project, agreed that Iraq was a turning point in convincing Colonel Qaddafi to give up his weapons.
”One certainly hopes that what we did in Iraq put countries like Libya on notice that we’re really serious about countering proliferation,” said Mr. Carter. So what does Obama do? By not supporting Gaddafi (which led to Benghazi), we told the rest of the world we do not support countries that acquiesce to our wishes. To top it all off, the area is in disarray with Islamic terror groups running amuck.
I am not even going to bore you with the details of not supporting our pal, Hosni Mubarak, in Egypt. One of the only Arab leaders who worked with us, and kept a lid on his own crazies. Lastly, I just want to compare two responses Obama made. One during civil unrest, the other during an all-out coup.
Remember Iran in 2009. All those young adults protesting for reforms in the Islamic Republic. He turned his back on these reformers.

Are we starting to see a pattern here?
Now onto the recent mess in Turkey. Where Obama was quiet concerning the Iranian protestors, he comes out swinging for “Sultan” Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. Here is a lovely poem Erdogan quoted during a speech in the 90’s:

We are not talking about a Turkish Thomas Jefferson. One must remember that since the days of Ataturk, the military has always been the protector of secularism in Turkey. The Sultan on the other hand, receives his support from the conservative Islamic followers in that nation.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Obama from jump street should of supported the military or the wanna be Sultan. He could of simply shut his word hole and see how it played out.

So is President Obama our first Muslim Commander in Chief? Who knows? However if you were a space alien observing quietly from afar, one can see how Spock could easily make this assumption. After all according to Barry, Islam is pretty cool!

Brian Lopez

Cells, Sparks of Light, and Mice.

A quick letter I wrote to “The Doctor of Democracy”, Rush Limbaugh while convalescing   a minor back injury. It concerns, cells, sparks of light, and mice.

This concerns your break on 04-28-2016, about the spark of light when a human sperm crashes into a human egg. This scientific phenomena occurs in other animals as well.
This is taken from the Telegraph. ” Scientists had seen the phenomenon occur in other animals but it is the first time is has been also shown to happen in humans.” http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/04/26/bright-flash-of-light-marks-incredible-moment-life-begins-when-s/
I am against late term, partial birth, and abortions that are funded by the government. Roe v. Wade poor decision. Legalizing abortions should up to the states.
However, I found it was disingenuous to tell the listeners about human conception and fireworks, but omitting mice and other creatures. You alluded to the fact this “zinc spark” is a sign of divinity. Should I stop eating chicken? Please answer my conundrum. I do not want God to smite me.

Brian Lopez
Rush 24 / 7 subscriber
The Iron Tower

Walgreens and Trolls

Walgreens and Trolls.

I had the great misfortune to visit your store so my wife could get a passport photo taken. I was having a pleasant day until I encountered Walgreens employees. Before I begin my tale of woe, I must assure you that the pharmacy department does a terrific job. However, this is not the first time I have been treated as if I was a burden from an employee in this retail establishment.

Upon entering the store, I could not locate a Walgreens minion at the photo counter. I asked one of your androids at the front counter for someone to assist me. In a language one could barely call English, she has to call for a customer service person twice in an approximate two minute span I was waiting for.

Finally, one of your acolytes appear. It was troll like in appearance, with an unkempt beard and a nasty attitude. I guess I would have an unsavory disposition too if I lived underneath a bridge and snacked on street urchins. This bearded menace did not even give eye contact or say hello. I told him I needed a photograph for a passport. He just pointed at where my wife should stand to take the photo.

What happens next is a little bizarre. The gentleman with the unkempt beard waited upon someone else first, even though we were first in line. This customer informed the ogre that we were in line first. The hirsute employee didn’t even ask us if it was ok to be waited upon second.

I don’t like being wrong. I am usually correct in all my decisions and opinions. Before entering this fluorescent lit purgatory, Susan stated this was a bad idea. How right she was. While the bearded mammal was prattling on with a co-worker, Susan just blankly stared at me.

I must also bring up another point. Who makes the decisions concerning the music selection? Terrible 80’s music and poor customer service is no way to run a business. If I had to listen to that excrement all day, perhaps I would forget to shave and have a poor attitude.

It was only when I exclaimed out loud that my experience at Walgreens was terrible that Shaggy began speaking to me. I guess he was afraid of a complaint. Perhaps he was taken aback that I voiced my opinion. Too bad breaded weirdo. Not only is this missive being sent to  the Walgreens Stasi via www.wagcares.com, it is also being published in a few other places as well!  

Dryer’s Farm and Chickens.


Letter I inserted into a survey to Dryer’s Farm.

This is in regard to the shopping experience at the newly improved Dryer’s Farm. Without a doubt, the customer service is wonderful in the store. The employees are friendly and helpful. My concern is the feral chickens you have on the store floor. These birds block the storefront and isles, cackling about PTA’s and little Cindy’s dance class. A truly exasperating moment is waiting online behind a chicken. Sometimes they will rudely asked questions about when the Bulgarian turnips or Madagascar corn will be in season. These hens have no regard to who is in line behind them. In handling these questions, your staff sometimes has the thousand yard stare of a soldier in the trenches. One cannot blame them. The farm must have a psychologist on staff.

As much as these ladies squawk proudly about their chicks, they appear to have no regard for their safety. I have cringed multiple times, observing a woman open a door to an SUV, letting an urchin run around aimlessly in the parking lot. I’ve seen a couple of frolicking younglings almost crushed by other hens driving SUV’s. I must remind you I am at the farm to pick up produce, not watch natural selection take place.

In closing, it is not the store or the staff that makes things unpleasant; it is the self-involved moms that are exasperating. Perhaps there should be a day selected for men to pick up the box. We would simply line up, grunt our last name, receive the box, and in an orderly fashion leave the store. It would be a break for your staff and certainly a plus for me!

Not just a Bad Call : Terrible Judgment and the End of Youthful Exuberance


Not just a Bad Call : Terrible Judgment and the End of Youthful Exuberance


I watched O’Reilly tonight. He briefly covered a play that occurred at a high school football championship game. Instead of passing, the quarterback for “Cathedral” ran successfully for a touchdown. Here is a clip from the game.  As this young man was running for the touchdown, he triumphantly raised his fist in the air. A flag was thrown. The referee (now referred to as Stalin), threw a flag and voided the play. Stalin believed he violated a rule about “celebrating”.  “Blue Hills”, the opposing team, won the game. How this affected the game who knows. Perhaps Cathedral was downtrodden about Stalin’s call, and could not psychologically recover. It could be that Blue Hills was rallied by this surreal event. Such is sports.
A little about me. As my boss constantly reminds me at work “it’s always about me.” One should note this supervisor of mine refuses to be my Facebook Pal.  It is his loss I assure you. In my youth I was never considered an athlete. I do not think in my sagging  forties this shall change. I cannot throw a football, baseball, or even a Foosball. For me, a bat is not for striking a ball. The  primary purpose of a blunt object is to subdue a deadly opponent.
This could perhaps be the unaccomplished athlete inside; a little jealousy. But I feel that sports, and athletes are over emphasized in this society. One lauds someone that can throw a ball. Ask that  same person the significance of  Michio Kaku  or Milton Friedman. You might receive a black stare. Bread and Circuses people. Bread and Circuses.
This was not simply a bad call by Stalin. If the play was recalled due to holding or a false start, you can understand this. As a matter of fact it is a life lesson. Some decisions are made you cannot agree with. One must move on.
This was a championship game. The kids playing this game will remember this forever. The winners and losers. Stalin has taken a simple event and scarred both teams. The players of Cathedral will perhaps remember this as if they were cheated. The players of Blue Hills may feel they unfairly won the game. This was not a person throwing gang signs or jumping in the side lines after a touchdown. This helmeted warrior was….. well he was happy. What is wrong with that!!! Are we teaching the next generation that it is poor form to simply celebrate?
Before writing this, I spoke with a friend of mine. He played for Cranford High School Football and also played college ball as well. He was courted by multiple colleges. His opinion is for athletic scholarships, it was of little  importance  who won this game. Scouts were already watching their performances. They were on winning teams; the scouts gravitated towards talented teams and perused. If even one of these kids was going to play for a college, the game had little significance on their scholastic future.
My thoughts go out to the middling players, on both teams. For four years, they toiled on practice fields and pushed themselves. They gain the privilege to play a championship game. In most games like this, one can remember the perfect pass or sack.  For Cathedral and Blue Hills; Stalin taught them political correctness.   I do have a remedy for this. The coaches and players should get together (and certainly not tell anyone), rent a referee(s); suit up and play a game. If I was on either team, I would be there.

Concerning David Frum.

This is a copy of a letter sent to a Facebook friend of mine. he asked my opinion of an article David Frum wrote. Here is Frum’s link:

Here is my Letter:
I am a little humbled, and pleased that you asked my opinion on Frum’s article. I take it as a compliment. On Frum; he is a conundrum for people on the right like myself. In preparation, I pulled Frum’s book “The Right Man”. The book describes Bush during his first term up to 9-11. He almost describes The Bush Administration as rudderless. Frum was a speech writer for Bush. He was a member of the speech writers that drafted the    phrase”Axis of Evil”. In his own words:

“Since the tax battle, we had worked harder and harder on less and less – and since the loss of the Senate, the domestic agenda of the administration had filled up with gimmicks and dodges.”

Frum debated leaving the White House. After 9-11, he witnessed a Bush become a wartime President with clarity. Frum stayed on. In the following years, Frum has tacked to the left. Perhaps he was always center left. Frum’s role in the Bush Administration was extremely small. A writer in a stable of writers. In this latest edition of Frum’s thinking, he rails against his former employer, a conservative think tank. “We don’t pay you to think, we pay you to repeat.” I would hope that any think tank would welcome any cogent thinkers in its ranks. I also would wager some money that if Frum were a columnist for “The Nation”, and wrote an article lauding the private sector and against Obama care, he would be sacked. Perhaps The Office of the President only paid him “to repeat.”

Enough on Frum resume, and indulge me to dissect his argument.
One page one he states “I helped make the mess” and that the nation is in “the coils of a Great Depression.” Robert, you and I have never lived during a “Great Depression”. This is not even close to a great depression. Country wide, we are experiencing approximately a 9% to 10% unemployment rate. During the Depression in the thirties it was close to 25 percent. What this nation is suffering from is pockets of severe unemployment. From Flint, Michigan to Camden NJ, the numbers are higher than the national average. We are in a recession to be sure, but not even close to a depression. Perhaps we should look at the citizens of these areas and why the private sector does not want to invest.

On page two, Frum blasts The Tea Party. Frum’s belief is the Tea Party has candidates which they have endorsed and an organized structure to support them. It is clearly not the case. I know the head of the Democratic Party and the head of the Republican Party. I cannot name the (wo)man in charge of The Tea Party. The left wants to place a name and face with these people. It is just as bad as when the right wants to blame Unions, commies, and Che Guevara for the Occupy movement (I know Che is dead; but I am sure some right wing loony thinks he is in a bunker issuing orders for “the peoples microphone”).

The Occupy movement, and its predecessor The Tea Party, have two things in common and one thing different. The two in common, both are pissed and very unorganized. The Tea Party might be slightly more organized; they have better credit ratings to rent out halls and purchase tri-corner hats. There is one thing different. Their age. Look at the Occupy Wall Street movement, I am not talking about the aging hippies who visit from The Village, and saunter back to their rent controlled apartments with sushi and a bottle of white wine. I am talking about the people in their late teens to late twenties camping , smoking weed, and banging.

Yes the movement has a point. I just find it pretty misguided when The Occupiers are chanting to people walking to work each day. They yell at the wage slaves trudging to work each day. These people sipping their  Starbucks are not the one percent. I think not. I will say this about the   Occupy movement…. what a hell of a party!!!!

Now for “Frum 2012”. I gave it this moniker, it sound like a campaign platform. Frum wants to place the mortgage interest deduction on the table. We have this deduction to induce Americans to buy property. It is similar to Federal Government gives a deduction for children. It has been decided that certain decisions by people are good for the country. These decisions are rewarded. One of the reasons “renting sucks”, is the inducement the government gives to save and purchase a domicile. This in turn give people a sense of ownership not only for their homes, but the communities they live in.
If Frum desires to expunge this, then I say get rid of deductions for children. Not everyone one has children. The “Ethnic Competition” section on page 3 I find amorphous and lacking clarity. Some employers are hiring more foreign born workers. This is due to the fact  that a large majority of these workers majored in math and the sciences. Some of the 9-11 terrorists had backgrounds in engineering. There is a necessity for people in these industries. For some reason, “whitey” is not majoring in the sciences. Frum makes it sound like white America is going on a lynching.
What he doesn’t cite is that black unemployment is higher than  white    unemployment ( http://money.cnn.com/2011/09/02/news/economy/black_unemployment_rate/index.htm
). The out of wedlock birth rate for American blacks is approximately 70%. I don’t think it is “white American” that is angry. It is the middle class that is angry. A large majority of the middle class is white. From “bailouts” to
“handouts”, we feel we are getting squeezed.

His rant on Fox news is a little disingenuous. As a writer, Frum should applaud that I can watch Bill O’reilly , and then watch Ed Schultz
on MSNBC (which I try to do). As much as it is myopic, people will always tune in to programming they agree with. Frum believes there is a “cadre”
of conservative millionaires behind the rise of the Fox news. One could say the same about NBC and the New York Times (millionaires on the left) . He writes that the pundits are whipping up emotions of the viewers. I agree. Is this something bad? Does Frum want apathy? Does Frum want to go back to the days of  Cronkite? The days when Americans only had one nightly news source “they trusted.” Cronkite; that is another topic for another day!
In closing, people are upset, from the Tea Partiers to the Occupiers.
I don’t think the GOP has lost its moorings. There are people, like myself, who are concerned that we are traveling down the socialist path of Europe. A path that is self destructive for the future. Ask Greece and France.

Letter to Mayor Simmons, Cambridge Mass.

July 24, 2009
Mayor E. Denise Simmons
Cambridge City Hall
795 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA 02139


As I get older, I find myself wondering and inquiring about places on the planet where I can retire. Three places I will never homestead are Flint Michigan, North Korea, or Libya. I feel this needs no further explanation. Especially that country ran by the wacko Kim Jung IL . With all that dictatorial power, you would think he would be a snappy dresser. Let’s hope when he takes the big sleep, the next despot will shop at Brooks Brothers.
A new place I have placed on the list is the City of Cambridge. After reading this sentence, I have an idea of what you are thinking. Here is a letter that bloviates upon the jack booted officers that harass the citizenry of my city. This is very far from the truth. I will never move to Cambridge with the wife and cats due to the anarchy being allowed by your administration. People yelling on their lawn creating a disturbance will never help with a relaxing retirement.
The incident I am citing involves the professionalism exhibited by Sergeant James Crowley; and the race baiting by Professor Henry Louis Gates. Sergeant Crowley, who happens to teach about racial profiling , encountered Gates after being dispatched to a call of a possible burglary. Sergeant Crowley arrested Gates due to his “loud and tumultuous behavior”. Crowley made the arrest without assaulting Gates or yelling like a fifth grader. I hate fifth graders.
The situation appears to be clear cut. Cop gets sent to a house. Man gets crazy in public. Crazy guy gets arrested. Outside the home Gates is quoted as yelling “This is what happens to black men in America!” Here is the rub. The crazy guy is a Harvard professor with a racial axe to grind (or perhaps in his case an IKLWA or Tchokwe Tribal Axe).
A comment I have for the erudite Gates is this; if you are the poster boy for the plight of the black man in America, then black men in America have it great. From a Harvard professorship to documentaries on P.B.S. , Gates has had a fruitful life. Some sane people do nutty things that get themselves in trouble with the law. They get arrested, pay a fine, and move on with their lives. I don’t even begrudge Gates for acting like a moron. Pay the price and catch a meal in Harvard’s cafeteria.
My problem is not the incident itself. If the police officer was wrong, Gates will be found not guilty and the cop will perhaps lose his job. The issue is the lack of backbone exhibited by you and the Cambridge Police Department. After the national media took hold of the story, the charges were dropped. Here is a quote from CNN:
“In a joint statement, Cambridge and the police department said they made the recommendation to the Middlesex County district attorney and the district attorney’s office “has agreed to enter a nolle prosequi in this matter,” meaning that it will not be pursued.”

Mayor, was Professor Gates wrong or not? What are you afraid of? You cannot reinstate the charges now, but at the least please stand behind Sergeant Crowley when more national attention swings his way.
In the end, perhaps this is not a question of racism in America, but of power in America.
Maybe persons with advance degrees, television shows, and friends in The Oval Office can break the law without repercussions. In Cambridge it appears this is possible.

Brian Lopez
The Iron Tower
16 South Ave. West
Suite # 220
Cranford, N.J.

Dear Mr. Holder, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

February 20, 2009

Eric Holder, Attorney General
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Ave., NW
Washington, D.C. 20530-0001

Generalissimo Holder,

I am not a large fan of government, but I realize it has purposes. A pleasant example is the formulation and honoring of treaties with other nations. My favorite duty of government is the killing of Islamo-crazies that threaten this nation and the Western World. We seem to do that well. Since 9-11 there have been no terrorist attacks on this soil. I certainly hope the Obama Administration has the vigilance the “Texan” had. I am already starting to miss that steely eyed rancher.

I am concerned about a recent speech you gave in front of your minions at the Justice Department. This speech concerned Black History Month. Concerning race, you described Americans as a “nation of cowards”. Keeping with your coward motif, you believe that most Americans “retreat to our race protected cocoons.” Well I live in a Tower sir! An Iron one!

I am a white dude. And I am going to give the typical white response when one is called a cowardly racist. I feel compelled to tell you I have black friends. As a matter of fact I recently enjoyed a couple of pints with them on January 29, 2009 . One of them is a burly, follicle challenged (bald), boisterous, former college football player. He could break a lot of men in half with his pinky. He’s very proud of his daughter, and coaches kids on the side. He is also terrific with impressions, and can imitate anyone in our circle of friends (and enemies) at a drop of a hat. He does at times speak in riddles, but we all have our crosses to bear.

My other black friend that joined us that evening was my former boss. This soft spoken, at times sarcastic, buddy I have known for years. During a terrible time in my life he was incredibly supportive. Now he is a college professor. Aside from being a super genius, he is also a marital arts instructor.

I hope I have established my non racist credentials. Now to the purpose of this missive. I had the chance to peruse your web site. This was the job description given for Attorney General:

“The Attorney General represents the United States in legal matters generally and gives advice and opinions to the President and to the heads of the executive departments of the Government when so requested. In matters of exceptional gravity or importance the Attorney General appears in person before the Supreme Court. Since the 1870 Act that established the Department of Justice as an executive department of the government of the United States, the Attorney General has guided the world’s largest law office and the central agency for enforcement of federal laws.”

No where does it state to give the American public advice and opinions on whom to hang out with or where to live? So what if I want to live like a caterpillar. Even if I was a backwoods, toothless, racist cracker from The Pine Barrens; it is none of your business. Listening to your pedantic scolding of America, one could forget that a lot of whitey voted for Obama. And because of that election, you have an extremely powerful position yourself. So get over it!!!!

So I apologize, Commissar Holder, for only hanging out with two black friends during that evening. The last time I checked, I don’t have any Eskimo friends. Can the Racial Integrity Unit of the Justice Department provide me with an Alaskan pen pal? Mr. Holder, do you have any Eskimo friends? Or perhaps you can be my pen pal? I describe myself as a portly, fortyish, white guy with a Spanish surname. How’s that for diversity. Please provide a response to correct my cowardice.


Brian Lopez
The Iron Tower
16 South Ave. West
Suite # 220
Cranford, N.J.

Letter to “The Google”

February 4th, 2008

The Head Google Dude
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, C.A.
February 4, 2009

Perhaps you have heard of me. My name is Brian Lopez, founder and proprietor of The Iron Tower, a blog located at http://www.theirontower.com/ . I learned recently that “Blogspot”, is a internet company that is in the iron, fascistic grip of The Google. How I came to know google’s ownership of Blogspot was very disturbing.
Support for my blog has been growing exponentially by the day. One young, plucky gentleman, hearing of my vast intelligence, wit, and wisdom, decided to subscribe immediately. So he simply attempted to use his e-mail address. An e-mail address that was acquired years ago. Not so simple. Your blogging site told him he needed a “gmail” account first before gaining a subscription. He told me of this.
After my initial disbelief, I found this to be true. Why someone cannot use any e-mail address is perplexing. So I started to conduct some research on “The Google.” What I have found is a plan for world domination. Here are the facts.

FACT # 1 – The mapping of the planet.
It looks innocent. But without proper maps and charts world domination would be difficult. Your black helicopters and sedans are mapping the planet at an alarming rate. I guess you need to know where everyone lives to put “The Google” chip in our heads. I know your military cartographers remember taking the picture of the drunken Australian Your spies probably just whisked on by, not even offering him an aspirin or “the hair of the dog.”

FACT #2 – If you can’t beat them, buy them.
According to Wikipedia , as of September 2008 “The Google” has bought 54 companies. From internet security companies to Youtube, you own it. There are some very mysterious companies that were gobbled by “The Google”. In example, you purchase of Xunlei, a Chinese “File sharing” company…. Yeah right. The Red Chinese are all about sharing.

Fact # 3 – The Rise of the machines.
Check out this article on Fast Company . The article states you are starting a university so machines can take over the world. “Fittingly, it’s been dubbed Singularity University, after Kurzweil’s much-discussed idea that computers will soon reach a threshold of such great power that they’ll reshape our world.” Oh that is peachy. Now I have to worry about the Cylons or Terminators taking over the world. HEY GOOGLE!!! Just rename your company Skynet and get it over with.

In closing, I realize that this letter is filled with pithy satire. But in all seriousness, can my loyal readers just log on to blog spot with just a regular e-mail account? Please write a response Head Google Dude. You can respond on my blog if you prefer.


Brian Lopez
The Iron Tower
16 South Ave. West
Suite #220
Cranford, N.J.

The Stimulis Package.

My fellow citizens and mutants,

I thank you for reading my important updates on what is occurring on this mortal coil. As you can imagine I was a supporter of John McCain in the election. His campaign was like watching a car strike a puppy in slow motion. During the weeks after the election, I steadied myself for an Obama presidency. I expected some liberal programs, but after seeing how is cabinet was forming up (he did keep some Bush appointees), I was hopeful for a center left presidency. But this stimulus package has reignited my cold sweats and night tremors. The next time you see the Oval Office do not be surprised if one locates a bust of Marx on the Obama’s desk; and not Groucho Marx!

I have heard numbers like 600 billon or 700 billion. On 01-28-2009, The Wall Street Journal has calculated the number at 825 billion dollars. That is a lot of money. I found a wonderful web site titled “Self Investors” that itemizes some of expenditures of this bill. Here are some of the expenditures:

$4 billion for community activist programs such as ACORN

That’s wonderful. At least my dead grandfather can vote again. He was a good American. Wasn’t this the group who bribed citizens to vote multiple times with packs of Newports?

$650 million for coupons for digital TV conversions

Why is this needed? Who on earth, besides the Uni-bomber, does not have cable or satellite television? And why do I have to pay for people to watch American Idol? And don’t call me uncaring. You know that the majority of the pork rind eating population will not be tuning to 60 Minutes after they receive their free converter.

$50 million for National Endowment of the Arts

From Limbaugh to Hannity, and the other pundits from the right, enough has been said on this one. I do not understand how this would stimulate the economy. What is next? Making an aircraft carrier a floating shelter for the homeless? (I know…. I stole that line from Saturday Night Live).

$335 million for STD prevention

I believe this has been removed from the bill. Nancy Pelosi was a proponent of this section. I have one action for many American males that can prevent STD’s. This will cost the tax payer nothing. Internet porn then go to sleep. I wonder how many calls to Atlantic City prostitutes were stopped because of web surfing on unscrupulous sites? “Wow… I am so sleepy.”

The size of this bill is unfathomable as well. It is 647 pages long. I know that our lawmakers do not use their time wisely. But 647 pages is one hell of a doorstop. Who has time to read this pork laden leviathan? Forget the line item veto. We need a page veto. Even if you voted nay (which I am in agreement with), could you have digested this in a week? Or a month? In closing, I would like to give you a few additions that must be added to this bill. Two of them are revenue generators instead of so called stimuli. I believe you will see that it would be a step in the proper direction for this wonderful country.

#1 – National Lottery

Each state would have it’s own nationally sponsored lottery with the a single ticket costing two dollars. There would be 50 drawings each month in each of the states. The winner of the ticket does not have to pay federal income tax for the rest of his life. People hate paying taxes. It is not a million dollars. But the feeling that a large swath will not be cut out of your paycheck every two weeks will be priceless.

But there has to be two iron clad rules. Number one: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE WINNER PER TICKET. I cannot have a whole iron workers local or a gaggle of elementary school teachers pooling their money together to purchase 400 tickets. One person only!!!!

It’s like Charley with the golden ticket. But every month. Number two: If due to your low income you do not pay Federal Income Taxes, you will receive a wheel of the government cheese and carton of protein enriched biscuits every year until you do. Why would you receive money if you do not pay?

#2 – Adopt a bomb

Or a pallet of bullets, etc, etc, etc. Our government could produce a web site where Americans could pick their favorite weapon. Mine for instance is that AC-130 gunship . I love “Spooky”. You can make tax deductable donation to the weapon system of your choice. You know those commercials you see on television…. “For ninety cents a day you can feed a child; and we will send you a photo of Sally to update you on her progress.” My program would send you kick ass videos and interviews of the pilots, gunners, or soldiers. In their own words they would tell about how your money went to blasting an Islamo-crazy to Allah.
Those were the revenue builders. Now for the revenue generator.

#3 – Federal study on the common housefly’s anus

This makes as much sense as some of the other programs listed in the bill. I am sure that there are entomologists out there who are inquiring about the fly’s anus. How many millions could be poured into research and experiments? For the first time in human history we could find out the diameter of a fly anus? How does the fly wipe? A multitude of questions can be answered.

Well that is all for now. One of my readers was almost strong armed by “the google.” That is for next edition.